Click here to view products. "I've been inundating myself with your CDs and books for the last couple of weeks and have been applying many of the principles to my life with incredible results! I am connecting much better with my boys and have experienced a great deal of personal growth as well." D. Buckheart Click here to view more free articles by Bob Lancer The single most essential tip for sustaining a marriage is the individuals' commitment to a purpose higher than the satisfaction of passion. Passion comes in waves and proves unsustainable. Lasting commitment requires a higher purpose, a cause "greater than ourselves". It can be children. It can even be finance, business, self-improvement, spiritual growth, or world / community service. The individuals do not need to agree on the purpose, but each needs to be clear about and genuinely committed to the higher purpose served by staying together through thick and thin, even when the one who you are crazy about drives you crazy. This tip seamlessly flows into business wisdom because the "higher purpose" served by getting along with another person, be it a client, a co-worker, a boss or someone who works for you, is business success. No one succeeds alone. Any business person who makes relationship decisions based on nothing but his likes and dislikes, who permits his emotional reactions to rule his decisions, who takes things personally instead of professionally, is doomed to remain at the bottom rung on the ladder of success. Scroll Down To View A Bob Lancer... 1. Parenting Article: How To Raise A Secure Child 2. Couples's Article: Powerful Positive Communication Keys (To End Pointless Arguments) 3. Personal Development Article: Master Your Mind Parenting Article How To Raise A Secure Child By Bob Lancer From the moment your child emerges from the womb, begin working on understanding her language. As you observe her closely, notice every physical movement and gesture; with an open mind and heart try to intuitively sense what he is expressing. Does he want to shift his position? Does he want you to hold him? Does he want some space? Before placing your child in any one else's arms, be sure to read the physical way that your child either agrees or disagrees. As you work on understanding your child, also work on cooperating with his will. This practice needs to go on throughout your child's life. Cooperate with the child's will to the extent that it is safe to do so and in line with the child's development of responsible self-direction. The sooner you begin, the more deeply and accurately will you understand your child, meaning that you will know how to relate with your child and respond to her behavior in line with her best interests and your parenting goals. If a stern in-law or other person insists that you ignore what your infant is expressing to "show him who's boss right away" and expect him to confirm totally to your will, let the unpleasant quality of your relationship with that person reveal to you how misguiding is this opinion. To follow it would be to begin a pattern of conflicting with your child, instigating your child's opposition or depressed resignation to having parents who just don't understand. Practice communicating with your child in the attempt of conveying your messages to him. This may begin with the practice of "Shining Your Light". You do this by spending at least 15 minutes a day gazing directly upon your child's face as you express through your face your absolute adoration for him. Imagine the love pouring from your face into his heart, nurturing his heart and teaching him to be loving. This helps you to develop the attunement to your child's heart that will enable you to relate with your child compassionately throughout his life. By expressing your love to your child in this overt manner, you actually do teach your child to express her love and to attune to your heart and the heart of others. very time that you respond consciously and sensitively to your child you help your child to feel secure. You also teach your child, by your example, to be sensitive and responsive. Many mistakenly presume that if the child is too young to conceptualize and remember an experience, no learning from the experience goes on; but nothing could be further from the truth. In the first six ears of life the child's mind absorbs every influence of her surroundings and experiences at the deepest level, and those become embedded in the foundation of her developing personality. Relate with your infant as your teacher. He offers you a lesson of how to surrender to the natural process of your own life. The infant fully entrusts himself to the natural process of life in the womb, and that trust continues until parents indoctrinate the child with the fearful belief that he must be in a state of hyper-control over the affairs of his life to be safe. But that hyper-control itself is an unhealthy way of living; the stress makes it intrinsically unsafe. Follow your child's innocent wisdom by living with trust in his ability and glorious potential, and in life's inherent goodness. This is a healthy way of living that is intrinsically safe. *** Couples' Article Positive, Powerful Communication Keys (To End Pointless Arguing)
By Bob Lancer When you feel calm and centered you can articulate your observations in a manner that helps you to sort things out, organize a plan, turn a problem into a solution. Calmly describing to yourself, in writing, exactly what is going on and exactly what you can do about it will inevitably lead you at least one step closer to a solution. But you have to pay very close attention to your feelings during this process, or an emotionally turbulent state will cloud the issues and lead you into more chaos. Observe how others seem to be feeling while you attempt to communicate with them. You will never be able to effectively reason with a very emotional or nervous person. That person is only open to hearing what will help him to feel even more agitated. If you are very calm and centered, you might have a calming effect upon him that helps him to receive a saner message. But if his emotional state is stronger than your peace, you waste your effort struggling to reach him. Observe how others seem to be feeling while they attempt to communicate a message to you. A person in an angry, impatient, insecure, unhappy emotional state can only give you a message that leads you into a similar state of internal turbulence. If someone feels very elated or excited about something, their communication pushes you into a similar state of imbalanced delusion. The most important feelings to focus on while speaking or listening are, of course, your own. The only way to tell how another feels is by observing how you feel while paying attention to that other person. This is how to awaken to the oneness of us all. No one can knock you off of your emotional balance without your cooperation. Concentrate on maintaining your authentic inner peace and poise while speaking and while listening. When you lose your balance, say as little as possible and pay as little attention as possible to the unbalanced message coming at you. Concentrate instead on staying as fully aware as possible of what you feel, think, say and do in the present moment. Awareness functions as a force field of protection, revealing how to proceed in line with your true interests. When another person is too off balance for you to handle in a balanced way, look for ways to minimize the impact if you cannot find a practical way to excuse yourself. One challenge here is that the other's imbalance can send you off balance before you realize what is happening. The sign of this happening is when you feel the urge to engage in conflict in an effort to make that other person see how wrong he is. Each time you go through this you feel more and more disgusted with yourself for the waste of time and energy you allowed to take place. *** Personal Development Article Master Your Mind, Master Your Life
by Bob Lancer One of our major tasks in life, if we are to live life to the fullest, is to harness the vast creative power of our minds. Instead of permitting circumstances to dictate what you think, you can direct your mind to dictate your circumstances. Thus, the parent who notices himself resentfully thinking of his child as an uncaring person can deliberately let go of that thought in order to avoid contributing to that possibility becoming a reality. The more attention you give to a thought, the more reality you give to that thought. By redirecting the focus of your attention from what you think to how you feel, you can avoid giving more reality to a thought you do not want to live in. Paying close attention to your thoughts and feelings reveals that your feelings shape your thoughts. When you feel inspired, encouraged, hopeful you envision scenes in your head that support those feelings. When you feel anxious, discouraged or frustrated your mind engages in mental scenes that support those feelings. To shift your thinking, shift your feeling. Do this by redirecting attention from what you are thinking onto what you are feeling. Then you can gradually improve how you feel and, by so doing, liberate your mind from creative thinking that sends you into the very circumstances that you want to escape or avoid. Before you can effectively direct the creative power of the mind, you must experience a profound awakening. You must awaken from the dream that convinces you that your circumstances are the cause of how you think about your circumstances. You must awaken from the dream that convinces you that when you think about your circumstances you are actually looking directly at things as they are, rather than at a mental reflection. As long as you believe that your circumstances produce your thoughts about your circumstances, you cannot use your thought to produce the circumstances that you want. As long as you believe that viewing your thoughts is the same as directly viewing the reality you are presently living in, you cannot withdraw reality from the thoughts you do not want to live in. Your awakening begins as you recognize the story about your life that you live inside your head. You can release from the tragic stories that feed your discouragement, anxiety and humiliation as easily as you can switch from a thought about the stars to a thought about the sky when you realize that you are living in a story about your life that you produce in your mind. When you see your story as nothing but a story you can let it go, particularly when you see how unhappy it makes you feel. Whatever you believe to be true about your life is, after all, just a belief. You can discard beliefs that aren't working. But first you must recognize that they are just beliefs about reality, and not reality. *** To see many more enlightening and empowering articles by Bob Lancer, click here. | 
